with the pain- with the brokenness,
with the confusion, hear this:
"i take thee my bride.
forever to hold
with all of my heart, eternally i do."
because your heart was made to love.
your heart was made to save- made for mercy.
your heart was made for love.
your heart was made to feed the hungry.
your heart was made to heal the broken.
your heart was made to free the captives.
your heart was made to repair the damaged.
your heart was made for me.
so do what you will
i am ready now
my heart was made for you.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
The Ascent '08- The Message I Received
i had a few really good "word pictures" tonight at the Ascent. theres one specific one that i want to share....
i saw a 3D front view of a dark red heart.... it had bruises and scars and stitches and was covered in pain- with the definition of affliction and torment. the heart had cold metal chains binding its freedom... they squeezed every part of the heart... holding it in an agonizing bondage. some of the chains were rusty and old- representing the myriad of years they enslaved the heart. while i was looking at the heart... i noticed an extremely bright light coming from behind the heart... illuminating the foreground and edges of the heart. it seemed to be inching closer to the heart, for the light was perceived to be growing brighter.
when the light was finally close enough, the ugly chains suddenly broke and fell off of the heart. the view of the heart was then switched to a top view (as if i was looking straight down). i watched the heart fall backwards into the light.
i cant explain what form the light took... except that it was holding the heart. i saw that the heart had a different glow to it than its original countenance of despair and utter hopeless brokenness. the scars of the heart still existed... and i could tell that the heart could still feel some type of anguish. but there was a feeling of HOPE written all over the heart. i tried to figure out what the emotions of the heart were... but my mind just would not shift from the word HOPE. even though the heart still had its scars, it had a sense of HOPE.
the chains laid broken and shattered next to the heart... but they no longer bound the heart with their oppressing and enslaving nature. they will still be present in the life of the victim... but not present in the way that they are murdering her. the chains will never ever go away... as hopeless as that sounds, there is still hope in the fact that the CHAINS ARE BROKEN. the chains have been removed and now there is room for freedom to drape itself around and about the heart. the restored heart.
alright.
so in addition that...
we had a couple hours where everyone went into these different rooms where we could be prophesied over. i signed up for one of the first sessions. when i walked in... i had no idea what to expect. im going to share what i was told... and hopefully i will receive some revelation about them as i write. There were 7 pictures that the 3 people in the room had.... I will write down exactly what they told me... and they knew nothing about me.... not even my name.
1.) God was seen as a teddy bear... like children cling to a teddy bear, God was going to be my friend when it seemed there was none other.
2.) A pair of closed eyes were envisioned... the eyes had very long black eyelashes. I was told that the eyelashes were from God to protect me from what i see. And in this, He was showing me love.
3.) A picture of a moving flip book was revealed... there was a picture of a flower that was growing bigger and growing more and more beautiful. God is preparing me for a big transformation.
4.) The Lord was anointing my arms in this vision... apparently for worship unto Him. I was reaching to touch His heart... And that i was going to be using my arms and hands to serve people. I am going to be doing a huge hands on ministry in the future sometime.
5.) In this picture, a cell phone was envisioned. It was laying prostrate on a table... it had an antenna that was facing towards the viewer. The cell phone's antenna started to grow longer and started stretching towards the person...
(In this image, the man that shared this with me told me that He had NO idea why God showed this to Him... He told me that i needed to seek God in finding out what that meant. When he was sharing this all with me i kept thinking about how cell phones are used for communication. And how antennas are used for reception... to help make the call more clear. I thought that maybe God was using that picture to represent somehow how our communication with one another (me and God's) was going to start growing in clarity... that the reception was increasing. I am not sure if this is on point or not... but it could be?)
6.) A pad of paper and a pen was revealed to the woman who had this imagery etched in her head. She saw that a leaf was on the end of the pen and that it was growing bigger and richer. She told me that it represented some sort of creativity and growth in the subject of writing. That it was going to increase. (This lady doesnt even know me........)
7.) In this last vision, a giant eye was shown. It was a very large beautiful blue eye... as the viewer of the eye looked closer, he noticed that the world was reflected in the eye. That the eye took the form of the world... God wanted me to see the world and feel it apparently. The man that told me all of this also shared that he felt like God was saying that this was the "most important" prophecy... that i should really talk to Him about it and ask Him what it means... and to show me His word. I was told to ask God what He was saying to me.
So anyways... i thought that was all very powerful. And thats not even all. I sat in on two other sessions of other people because i had to be a "scribe" and write down the prophecies of them so that they could cry and whatnot. And i witnessed some AMAZING stuff. I sat in with another close friend... and while we were discussing what happened in there, i saw something too. I shared with her what i was seeing and apparently it meant a lot to her. It was so encouraging to see God use me like that.... it gave me so much hope. That He could still work through me, no matter what i have done. I saw so much change in people tonight... So much.
In another instance, the speaker of one session of the conference, spoke something over me too. We were up at the front of the auditorium to receive the fire of the Holy Spirit... i wasnt really sure what it meant, but i went up anyways. When the man finally got to me, i was trembling and shaking so much that i could barely stand. I was praying that God would make this huge thing happen to me and that i would be outrageously filled with Him. That if it was His will, i wanted it soooooo bad. I submitted to Him completely and told Him that i would still love and devote myself to Him even if I did not receive what i expected. When the man's hands touched my head, He told me that God kept saying the word "dance" to me... (and if you know me, you know that i have no dancing capabilities.) He asked me if i minded if he prayed over my feet. So he knelt down and placed His hands on my feet and started praying. He kept saying dance.... Then when he had arisen he placed His hand on me again and told me that he was hearing from God that i had already received the fire. that i already had it. and i was like, "no i dont... i dont feel anything. i never have." and he only responded with, "you already have it...." and he moved on to the next person.
So i kinda collapsed right there and started crying. i starting like yelling at God. i was so mad... i didnt understand how i could have this fire if i couldnt feel it. But i just kept hearing that He was not a feeling. And i thought about how he had moved so much in me already... and i didnt have to feel Him to recognize that. It was crazy... i still felt depressed though. i got up from my spot on the floor and just kind of walked around like a zombie. i was mad that i didnt get anything... but then i went and spoke to the speaker again about some of what he spoke over me and over the congregation. And after he prayed for me, i felt like i understood. Not that there was knowledge in that understanding... just a peace about it. I still want to FEEL God more than anything... but God revealed Himself to me in such a huge way this weekend, there is no way that i cant tell Him that He hasnt done enough. That if He doesnt let me feel Him, He doesnt exist. I know He exists... and now i have a confidence in his work in me and through me.
about the dance thing- i told you that i couldnt dance. and im so serious. but when i was worshiping i really had this humongous urge to just spin around in circles with my arms wide open. i started to at one point, but after a couple times i stopped... i was like "okay.... yeah. not feeling it." i was disappointed. but i WILL do it next time... no matter who's around haha. i started to think that maybe that was the dancing that God was trying to talk to me about... but then i thought maybe that he wanted me to use my feet AND my arms and hands (as said in a prophecy from earlier in the day...) to serve Him.... dont you use your hands and feet and arms and your whole body to dance? Maybe God doesnt mean a literal dance... maybe He means a dance to His movement of ministry? I'm not entirely sure... but i will embrace it, even though i may not completely understand it...
dude, this is all so crazy... i could go on for hours on everything i experienced. but i will be surprised if any of you actually read this whole thing. though i am interested in what half of you will have to say about all of this. but thank you so much if you made it all the way down here. this all means so much to me... im so "woah" about it all. its insane!! haha
alright.
so i guess i will end this now =]
love you all! and thank you!!!!
-chelsea
i saw a 3D front view of a dark red heart.... it had bruises and scars and stitches and was covered in pain- with the definition of affliction and torment. the heart had cold metal chains binding its freedom... they squeezed every part of the heart... holding it in an agonizing bondage. some of the chains were rusty and old- representing the myriad of years they enslaved the heart. while i was looking at the heart... i noticed an extremely bright light coming from behind the heart... illuminating the foreground and edges of the heart. it seemed to be inching closer to the heart, for the light was perceived to be growing brighter.
when the light was finally close enough, the ugly chains suddenly broke and fell off of the heart. the view of the heart was then switched to a top view (as if i was looking straight down). i watched the heart fall backwards into the light.
i cant explain what form the light took... except that it was holding the heart. i saw that the heart had a different glow to it than its original countenance of despair and utter hopeless brokenness. the scars of the heart still existed... and i could tell that the heart could still feel some type of anguish. but there was a feeling of HOPE written all over the heart. i tried to figure out what the emotions of the heart were... but my mind just would not shift from the word HOPE. even though the heart still had its scars, it had a sense of HOPE.
the chains laid broken and shattered next to the heart... but they no longer bound the heart with their oppressing and enslaving nature. they will still be present in the life of the victim... but not present in the way that they are murdering her. the chains will never ever go away... as hopeless as that sounds, there is still hope in the fact that the CHAINS ARE BROKEN. the chains have been removed and now there is room for freedom to drape itself around and about the heart. the restored heart.
alright.
so in addition that...
we had a couple hours where everyone went into these different rooms where we could be prophesied over. i signed up for one of the first sessions. when i walked in... i had no idea what to expect. im going to share what i was told... and hopefully i will receive some revelation about them as i write. There were 7 pictures that the 3 people in the room had.... I will write down exactly what they told me... and they knew nothing about me.... not even my name.
1.) God was seen as a teddy bear... like children cling to a teddy bear, God was going to be my friend when it seemed there was none other.
2.) A pair of closed eyes were envisioned... the eyes had very long black eyelashes. I was told that the eyelashes were from God to protect me from what i see. And in this, He was showing me love.
3.) A picture of a moving flip book was revealed... there was a picture of a flower that was growing bigger and growing more and more beautiful. God is preparing me for a big transformation.
4.) The Lord was anointing my arms in this vision... apparently for worship unto Him. I was reaching to touch His heart... And that i was going to be using my arms and hands to serve people. I am going to be doing a huge hands on ministry in the future sometime.
5.) In this picture, a cell phone was envisioned. It was laying prostrate on a table... it had an antenna that was facing towards the viewer. The cell phone's antenna started to grow longer and started stretching towards the person...
(In this image, the man that shared this with me told me that He had NO idea why God showed this to Him... He told me that i needed to seek God in finding out what that meant. When he was sharing this all with me i kept thinking about how cell phones are used for communication. And how antennas are used for reception... to help make the call more clear. I thought that maybe God was using that picture to represent somehow how our communication with one another (me and God's) was going to start growing in clarity... that the reception was increasing. I am not sure if this is on point or not... but it could be?)
6.) A pad of paper and a pen was revealed to the woman who had this imagery etched in her head. She saw that a leaf was on the end of the pen and that it was growing bigger and richer. She told me that it represented some sort of creativity and growth in the subject of writing. That it was going to increase. (This lady doesnt even know me........)
7.) In this last vision, a giant eye was shown. It was a very large beautiful blue eye... as the viewer of the eye looked closer, he noticed that the world was reflected in the eye. That the eye took the form of the world... God wanted me to see the world and feel it apparently. The man that told me all of this also shared that he felt like God was saying that this was the "most important" prophecy... that i should really talk to Him about it and ask Him what it means... and to show me His word. I was told to ask God what He was saying to me.
So anyways... i thought that was all very powerful. And thats not even all. I sat in on two other sessions of other people because i had to be a "scribe" and write down the prophecies of them so that they could cry and whatnot. And i witnessed some AMAZING stuff. I sat in with another close friend... and while we were discussing what happened in there, i saw something too. I shared with her what i was seeing and apparently it meant a lot to her. It was so encouraging to see God use me like that.... it gave me so much hope. That He could still work through me, no matter what i have done. I saw so much change in people tonight... So much.
In another instance, the speaker of one session of the conference, spoke something over me too. We were up at the front of the auditorium to receive the fire of the Holy Spirit... i wasnt really sure what it meant, but i went up anyways. When the man finally got to me, i was trembling and shaking so much that i could barely stand. I was praying that God would make this huge thing happen to me and that i would be outrageously filled with Him. That if it was His will, i wanted it soooooo bad. I submitted to Him completely and told Him that i would still love and devote myself to Him even if I did not receive what i expected. When the man's hands touched my head, He told me that God kept saying the word "dance" to me... (and if you know me, you know that i have no dancing capabilities.) He asked me if i minded if he prayed over my feet. So he knelt down and placed His hands on my feet and started praying. He kept saying dance.... Then when he had arisen he placed His hand on me again and told me that he was hearing from God that i had already received the fire. that i already had it. and i was like, "no i dont... i dont feel anything. i never have." and he only responded with, "you already have it...." and he moved on to the next person.
So i kinda collapsed right there and started crying. i starting like yelling at God. i was so mad... i didnt understand how i could have this fire if i couldnt feel it. But i just kept hearing that He was not a feeling. And i thought about how he had moved so much in me already... and i didnt have to feel Him to recognize that. It was crazy... i still felt depressed though. i got up from my spot on the floor and just kind of walked around like a zombie. i was mad that i didnt get anything... but then i went and spoke to the speaker again about some of what he spoke over me and over the congregation. And after he prayed for me, i felt like i understood. Not that there was knowledge in that understanding... just a peace about it. I still want to FEEL God more than anything... but God revealed Himself to me in such a huge way this weekend, there is no way that i cant tell Him that He hasnt done enough. That if He doesnt let me feel Him, He doesnt exist. I know He exists... and now i have a confidence in his work in me and through me.
about the dance thing- i told you that i couldnt dance. and im so serious. but when i was worshiping i really had this humongous urge to just spin around in circles with my arms wide open. i started to at one point, but after a couple times i stopped... i was like "okay.... yeah. not feeling it." i was disappointed. but i WILL do it next time... no matter who's around haha. i started to think that maybe that was the dancing that God was trying to talk to me about... but then i thought maybe that he wanted me to use my feet AND my arms and hands (as said in a prophecy from earlier in the day...) to serve Him.... dont you use your hands and feet and arms and your whole body to dance? Maybe God doesnt mean a literal dance... maybe He means a dance to His movement of ministry? I'm not entirely sure... but i will embrace it, even though i may not completely understand it...
dude, this is all so crazy... i could go on for hours on everything i experienced. but i will be surprised if any of you actually read this whole thing. though i am interested in what half of you will have to say about all of this. but thank you so much if you made it all the way down here. this all means so much to me... im so "woah" about it all. its insane!! haha
alright.
so i guess i will end this now =]
love you all! and thank you!!!!
-chelsea
Sunday, November 2, 2008
love me still
you are a mystery
so unexplained
you have a history
of unending reign
i just want to run
into you
you, the sovereign one
pull my heart
closer to you
tear me apart
and divide me in two
break me in half
and shatter my will
forget the past
and love me still
through hurt and pain
i'm overwhelmed
yet close you remain
i'm forever held
to love is your will
you will love me still
so unexplained
you have a history
of unending reign
i just want to run
into you
you, the sovereign one
pull my heart
closer to you
tear me apart
and divide me in two
break me in half
and shatter my will
forget the past
and love me still
through hurt and pain
i'm overwhelmed
yet close you remain
i'm forever held
to love is your will
you will love me still
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