Royalty in Rags

Two of my favorite stories of the New Testament both include a "certain immoral woman." I just love how Jesus is so loving and merciful while looking at sin in the face. Having to leave a place of Majesty and Honor to enter a world that is so filthy and broken must have been hard in itself. But to face the sin everyday that He would be tortured for, that would cause Him a feeling of utmost betrayal... I cant wrap my mind around His strength.

John 8:3-11
As He was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd. “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?” They were trying to trap Him into saying something they could use against Him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with His finger. They kept demanding an answer, so He stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” Then He stooped down again and wrote in the dust. When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”
“No, Lord,” she said.
And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”

Luke 7:36-39
One of the Pharisees asked Jesus to have dinner with him, so Jesus went to his home and sat down to eat. When a certain immoral woman from that city heard He was eating there, she brought a beautiful alabaster jar filled with expensive perfume. Then she knelt behind Him at His feet, weeping. Her tears fell on His feet, and she wiped them off with her hair. Then she kept kissing His feet and putting perfume on them.
When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, He would know what kind of woman is touching him. She’s a sinner!” Luke 7:45-50 "You didn’t greet me with a kiss, but from the time I first came in, she has not stopped kissing my feet. You neglected the courtesy of olive oil to anoint my head, but she has anointed my feet with rare perfume. “I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love.” Then Jesus said to the woman, “Your sins are forgiven.” The men at the table said among themselves, “Who is this man, that he goes around forgiving sins?” And Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.

i could just picture this woman... intruded upon while she was committing adultery... "caught in the act." i almost feel like her.
i see myself being dragged in front of tons of people.
i see them pick up their stones.
my stomach churns.
i cover my face in fear and shame.
i am afraid. i am so ashamed. i've lost all dignity.
i know what's about to happen.
i hear them ask Jesus what He would do.
i expect him to throw the first stone at me. i mean, He's so "HOLY" & i've sinned against Him.
but i hear Him shout above the voices of all of them.
"let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone"
i wait, im sure there's plenty who have sinned... but those who are most angry have done lived good lives and do everything right.
i notice Him bend over and write in the sand.
i wait face down on the ground in anguish for the first boulder to smash my bare skin.
i hear the sound of a Deliverer...
i hear him ask where all of my accusers are.
i look up into the face of a Savior with eyes of MERCY.
everyone else has left, their rocks lying dormant on the ground.
i realize all have sinned and fallen short.
and the MERCY of this man has saved my life.
His eyes are full of love, not excusing my sin, but longing to remove it- to erase it.
He tells me to leave and sin no more...


i feel like the sinful woman who anointed Jesus at the pharisee's house.
i have nothing to offer Him- save an expensive perfume that could buy me my dignity in another city. but i see this Man, this one who's eyes BURN with passion.
and i feel not condemned or looked down upon when He looks at me.
i know who He is.
and i know what i must do to show Him my love.
i enter the room where He sits, dining.
i cry, so moved by emotion.
i open this alabaster box of perfume,
i break it open and pour it over his feet.
my tears mix with the oil and a strong fragrance fills the room.
i wipe His feet with my hair. then kiss them with my dry lips.
i keep pouring out the perfume, i keep kissing Him, i keep wiping His feet.
i hear voices of those who don't understand why i am doing this.
but i keep weeping, continuing on with this act of love that no one will ever understand.
i hear His voice
i hear Him standing up for me.
i hear Him say that my love, my faith has saved me.
i feel delivered.

so i gather my rags, and i walk away- with an instant understanding that i am named Royalty by the mercy of the King of Kings.

Beautiful Mercy, Jealous Lover

Beautiful Mercy by Laura Hackett


[[ ♫♪ There is no pit too deep that Jesus cannot reach
There is no sorrow so strong that could overtake His beloved one ♫♪ ]]


--- No matter how far I seem from hope, no matter how far I push away the loving arms of my Redeemer- It will never be TOO FAR for Jesus to snatch me out of the pit I've placed myself in. He experienced the ultimate sorrow when His Father turned His face away as He hung there on the cross, exposed in highest humiliation- the Son of God. How can I say that He doesn't understand my sorrow, my grief, my brokenness. How can I say that I am beyond repair? HIS MERCY IS UNHINDERED BY THE LIMITS I PLACE UPON HIM & HE WILL REMAIN RELENTLESS UNTIL HE HAS ALL OF THIS HEART HE'S CREATED BACK INTO HIS ARMS. ---


[[ ♫♪ He's brought me to the wilderness where I will learn to sing.
And He lets me know my barrenness so I will learn to lean ♫♪ ]]


--- I am here in this desert to learn. Not because He takes pleasure in seeing me desolate and needy. He is stripping away my pride to tear me from my flesh. My flesh must no longer control me! I might know the melody of Salvation and the rhythm of Christianity, but do i know how to SING in this wilderness? Yes, i can make SOUND pass through my parched throat and escape my dry mouth... But i want to make a JOYFUL NOISE that becomes as a fragrance in the presence of MY DELIVERER. He's brought me here that i might LEARN TO SING. Then He reminds me of the EMPTINESS and the VOID inside of my soul- that i am INADEQUATE by all means... but He doesnt leave me there in that BARRENNESS. HE FILLS ME, THE HUNGRY- THE THIRSTY, WITH GOOD THINGS. He fills me with His LOVE, His Compassion, His MERCY. He teaches me to lay back against Him, "feel His heart beat" ---


[[ ♫♪ Beautiful Mercy, do what You have to do.
Jealous Lover, do what You have to do to bring forth love in me ♫♪ ]]


--- Need I say more? Beautiful Mercy... Jealous Lover... I know You need not my permission to act, but I will walk willingly with You through this desert. If it means becoming so desperately IN LOVE WITH ONLY YOU, I will go through anything. Take my passions, Take who i love, Take what i desire, Take all of ME- and GIVE ME NOTHING BUT YOURSELF. ---

Homecoming of the Little-Lamb ♥

i hear the sounds of water running faintly from a faucet in the kitchen, i hear the almost silent hum of my computer, the terrible squeak of this computer chair threatens my last nerve. i catch a few high pitched notes of a small girl laughing as she "meets her doom"- her doom, of course, is that of a roaring and hungry 15 year old sibling who is going to "eat" her. and lastly, i hear the sound of a chicken-lamb. yes, that would be Silas Benjamin. though the sound is strange- (as he grunts, clucks, and "baaaah"s harmonically) it is nice to hear it here, at my home, than in another room full of beeping monitors & protective nurses. i think to myself, "better to hear nothing at all, i'll take this farm-melody any day" (:

You should click here to hear what he sounds like (:

milkshakes. and army men.

thank you Jesus for milkshakes. and army men. and for cool little brothers who buy them. and little sisters who steal sips and leave messes everywhere :)


oh, the small delights of life we take advantage of.
im sitting in the playroom on the computer about to change my facebook status. and the only thing i wanted to say was "milkshakes. and army men." why?

im drinking a realllllllly good dairy queen vanilla milkshake that my brother bought me (he has the job, i have the car- he buys me things, i take him places...)

and right behind me on the couch are billions of army men all strategically placed as if in battle. the fruits of my sister's play time (: i love having a sister. Hailey is amazing... i had a really bad night not too long ago and she just held me while i cried. she should have been sleeping by then, but she stayed up listening to me and praying for me. yes, praying for me. she laid her head on my shoulder while we laid in my bed and she told me that she was going to pray for me. and started right away: "dear jesus...[blah blah] please make chelsea feel better please and keep her safe from accidents when she drives in her car." the first part of her prayer was very specific, but super special. i wont get into that, but the point was that i just love her so much and she's soooo awesome. i've recently had to tell her that she doesnt need to tell me all the time that i am the greatest sister and im so beautiful and awesome. she says it sooooo much. it's so nice to be loved and appreciated... i love being her example. i love every part of our relationship- even when i wake up to her head on my back (keeping me from breathing) or her legs over me. or when she gets an attitude with me. or when she insists on wearing something that she wears all the time that just isnt that cute. or DOES NOT match. haha- im not saying i completely enjoy those times, but i do love them. my love for her is so real and so deep. i love holding her close to me as i fall asleep. haha one night i was praying for her silently and i just started bawling... she asked me what was wrong. and all i could say was "i just love you so much"... i am so incredibly blessed to have that girl in my life. but anyways... it was the army men behind me that made me think about all of this. not sure why... but it's cool (:

anyways. my milkshake is waiting.
-chelsea

Faithful & True- forever. My love will carry you... ♫♪

i havent really really blogged about life in awhile. it's all due to laziness.
but for real. this summer was SOOOO AMAZING (: like. the internship i did... was beast. God encountered me in ways i was NOT expecting. example: i finally know what im called to do. mostly :P it's not going to be something with a title. it's not going to be an occupation that already has a name... i've already known that i had a passion for the hurting and the broken. but as i dove deeper into the issues of our nation (our whole world actually), i really found the core of my passions. im not going to become a writer or journalist like i thought i was. i never really FELT like i was going to be either. so i had to do this paper this summer on a justice issue. such as abortion or illegal detentions or human trafficking, to name a few.
and i was given human trafficking.

i had been wanting to learn more about this issue since we did a lot of fundraising for victims of trafficking during school last year. i knew that i had a passion for it already... but i didnt know the depth of it. i found myself crying and crying as i researched. i had to put the research on hold for a little while actually... it just hurt so much. i felt so burdened and helpless. i wanted to gather up the women and children who had been made victims of that terrible trade in my arms and just cry. i wanted to make everything better and tell them about my Jesus who is such an amazing Healer. i realized that my heart was towards broken women specifically... from all backgrounds. those who had been raped or sex trafficked or abused or anything... even those who had broken hearts having nothing to do with physical torture. i just feel sooooo hurt for them. and for the kids who are exposed to their brokenness and the ways they act out on it. it's so frustrating for me... so basically. thats something huge i figured out.

actually, i had just got done with my paper and the next weekend a whole bunch of us went to a conference in Va Beach (Beauty of the Lord) and i took a little trip to one of the prophecy rooms (: my experience in there was crazyyyyy. i was like in shock. one of the prophesier people in there told me that i would have a force, a strong voice for justice- in things such as trafficking and abortions. i was told that i was in a transistion phase change. like i had been moving in one direction, but that God was steering me towards my destiny... that it would be scary, but GOOD. One of them saw a line of fire that was creeping along burning away all the underbrush, burning away things in my life that didnt need to be there. But in that fire, there was glory, a Light. God was stoking the fire, but controlling it. There was difficulty and tribulation apart of the fire, but it's Him. He was there. There is pain and suffering and burning in this fire, but i could chose what to embrace- if i sought God in the tribulation i would find Him, if i sought pain and sadness, i would find that as well. But God wanted me to seek Him... of course (: But yeah, there was more that i wont go into too much detail about... but there was another one about me speaking to large groups of people boldly- revealing truth about God. He was making me a strong powerful speaker & will use me in awesome ways... i would be a world changer, not just women, but other people as well (: that people i have never met will thank me in Heaven. i would have the ability to discern truth as it resonated in me because of the Spirit of God. there was some more prophesy about my heart (i'll keep that to myself ;) and then a lady in the room mentioned something about "beauty for ashes"... i thought that was crazy. since thats like the story of my life... and part of the title and theme of my whole blog haha. but basically, it was just pretty much really intense (:

so now im just trying to figure out how to get started... im excited to go back to school and live out what i experienced this summer. but i really want to be in the middle of the action with the ministry im called to!! so im praying about that (: we'll see what happens! i love what God is doing in me!! the past couple of months have been incredibly rough and extremely hard, but i know He is there, and He is moving powerfully. haha, just this past week i have experienced some more cool God stuff (: im doing a secular music fast (which is SUPPPPERRRR hard) and it's pretty much forced me to encounter Jesus like all the time! It's hardest when im driving cause im alone and i just want to put on some of my favorite stuff, but i cant. and then when im on the computer i wish i could just listen to my old playlists, but im trying soooo hard to press in! and it's been really awesome seeing God work with my sacrafice. the other day i was sitting here going crazy haha... i had tons of pain and hurt in my heart and i was so angry and shocked and just overall- i was a huge mess. and this song by Meredith Andrews (that i had forgotten about, but really loved) came on. It was "You're not alone"... and it really spoke to me where i was in my pain.

and then another song by Audra Lynn "Without You" came on a little bit later. and i had been tempted to look up some songs that would relate to where i was in my hurt and kinda meet me in my depression of the moment, but this song came on. and basically it said: "will You be the words i say? will You be my melody? will You be the song that i sing & the life within me? will You be my everything... cause you are the Life that keeps me going, You are the reason that i say, You are the only one found worthy, oh Jesus, and so my song shall be of You... cause without You, i have nothing. will you be my everything?" ... i thought that was neat. since i was doing the whole music fast thing.. instead of singing a song that would glorify myself and my pain, my NEW SONG would be of a God who is worthy of a beautiful song dedicated to HIM (: but anyways...

ah it felt good to blog again.
i dont know if i really made sense, i wasnt really trying to be grammatically or punctaully correct. but it feels good to get it all out again (: woot!!!!!
haha anyways...

have a good day!!!!! (:

we've heard the call...

im gonna start blogging again... even if they are short (:
here goes something that God's really laid on my heart this summer... especially tonight.


we speak up when OUR "rights" are restricted- but when it comes to REAL issues such as murder of the unborn, silent sex slavery & other issues that need immediate intervention, we DEADEN our voice. it's obvious we have one- why do we remain silent? we're the voice of the unheard, their only hope. what if everyone else said "someone else can do it... "? dont say you werent "called"- even if you werent called to an active, front & center intervention in the physical, we are ALL called to active front & center INTERCESSION in prayer. God is calling our hearts to break for what breaks His. He is trying to hand us His heart. We must respond to this calling, to this offer. We have been told WE ARE THE GENERATION that changes the world. Are we going to miss our calling, just as the Israelites? I dont know about you, but i dont want to miss the promised land. Neither do i want to be the reason that another child is murdered in his mother's womb because of her ignorance of the abortion process and it's post-affects. i dont want to be the reason that another young woman is abducted on the streets... the reason for her final death after she gives up from being enslaved to sex 40 or so times a day. we've heard the call... our emotions were moved. now let's get our hearts involved.


-chelsea
(there will probably be more where that come from...)

Finally I Surrender...

at just a glimpse of who You are, i tremble.
my spine shivers by something as simple as worship.
the mention of Your name makes my breathing tighter and
my heart longs to be so close to Yours.
the rhythms of Your heart pulse through my soul.
the caverns of my heart are craving to be filled with Your Living Waters.
Like a monster, a glorious monster, something terrifying and wonderful pounds at the doors of who I am- coming in the name of a Healer, a Deliverer.
i have never known refuge or salvation...
The home i have "prepared" for You inside of me cowers in shame.
i have thoughts of inadequacy as You enter in.
i am whispered lies by Satan that nothing i will ever do for You will ever be good enough.
someone as INCREDIBLE as You deserves so much more than i can offer.
to make Your dwelling in a heart as mine...
my heart sings at the Truth. You want me.
You love and desperately want me...
You want to come into my heart no matter how filthy it is.
You delight in me with gladness (zephaniah 3:17)
My mighty Savior, Rescuer, Salvation...
You take joy in Your creation- because You want to.
You love knowing me... You arent ashamed of me. Why would you be?
MY LORD MY GOD is living- is breathing. Not next to me or behind me or in front of me...
You live among me.
Through every part of me... Your breath is in my lungs. The breath of the Creator.
He breathed life into me... (genesis 2:7) i am created in the image of the Almighty God.
my longing for relationships, for companionship, my desires to love and be loved- are all desires You have placed in me... Desires that You have Yourself. The way i long to love myself is the way You love me. and so much more. (genesis 1:27)
Love longs for things, and love wants that longing returned. Love is not a fair game... Love wants you completely and will not share you with any other. My God is love. My God is jealous. He desperately wants me... and will not share my attention with any one else. He loves us like no other creature. Humans are the only creation He did not speak into existence.
God knelt down on His hands and knees and gathered the dust from the ground to form mankind. He then breathed us into existence. He bowed down to form me.
He loves me.
No matter how much i sit there and tell God the reasons why i am undeserving of His love, He remains unconvinced. Nothing i could say or do will talk God out of loving me. He dreams constantly 24/7 of how He can encounter us...
He loves me despite our incompatibility. I hate who i became... and ending up hating myself. I hate which He loves... When we take on sin we take on an identity that takes away our beauty. Jesus sees our initial and potential beauty because He sees our lives as a whole... When we see the ugliness of the sin and agree that it must be removed, Jesus covers us in His radiance. Our beauty becomes amplified when our sin is removed.

We were purchased by Royal Blood because God wants to enjoy us.
God, you are a love sick God who is willing to take on our filthy sin and give Your life for us. Like a stalker... lurking behind every corner, planning ways He can meet with me. Planning ways He can capture my heart. He will stalk us TO THE PIT OF HELL JUST TO EARN A BIT OF OUR LOVE. He has incredibly deep and passionate feelings for us...

In Genesis, Eve (which in Hebrew means "to give life") was birthed from Adam's side.
Life came from Adam's side- his Bride. the love of a Bride.
Jesus is referred to the Second Adam in the New Testament book Hebrews... When Jesus was pierced on the cross after He committed His Spirit, the Bible says BLOOD AND WATER FLOWED FROM HIS SIDE.... The Blood that of Jesus Christ... the LIVING water... Life was birthed from Jesus' side... making us HIS BRIDE.


He lives not as one who was created but as one who is incredibly infinite and eternal.
You long to move us... to cause us to sway at the sound of Your voice. You long to rescue us, to be our salvation.

The angels, who dwell with God in Heaven, even long to even glimpse the wonders that accompany the inexpressible joy of the work of salvation.
They long to see its splendor,
how fascinating and different,
how incredible and outrageous it is.
That inexpressible joy does not come from what we would expect... it is not from the smoothness of life around us, or how well things seem to be working out- or even the Power of God upon our emotions. This inexpressible joy comes from OUR LOVE FOR GOD. Falling head over heels in love with God is what bring us a surpassing joy. And this love has been declared to not be hindered by circumstances. We do not have to become anything to be favorable in the sight of God. We are His elect, His chosen- FOREVER. His love for us sparks a love for Him inside of our hearts and proceeds directly into the heart of GOD.(I Peter)

Our praises act as a weapon for those lies that come in our vulnerability. They stand as an action that the enemy could never take away- we have the privilege and responsibility to worship and and praise our God.
God lives in our praises- the praises of His children, His people. He is attracted to it. He is drawn to our praises... If God had a weakness, it would be His incredible attraction to our worship. His heart melts. (Ps 22:3)
Our praises confuse the enemy (II Chronicles 20:22)
our prayer places God in His place of control.
Our praises break the chains that try to combat our minds... they set us up for a breakthrough... a breaking of the chains of bondage. By our praise we have total access to the throne of God... & protection from evil.

my praise and my worship depends not on circumstances...
You remain my Constant Jesus... completely unchanging in the midst of chaos.
moments of trial and testings come, but i declare that You are Good, You are God, and You will not change. You are changing the world instead. First by the hearts of those who are willing to be transformed.


-chelsea cameron


ps. this might be my prayer and declarations of God, but they are applicable to any Child of God. apply this to yourself please... God is longing for the hearts of all of His children... He wants to see a transformation of Heart in all of His people. He longs for our companionship. He wants to sing over all of us songs of rejoicing.


pps. zephaniah 3:17- "For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a Mighty Savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With His love, He will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” --- my LIFE verse right now.

beauty untamed

a wild rose bush, beautiful but barbaric
with untrained use and inexperienced fingers
might ruin the canvas of its being
pricked by the thorns of anguish and heartache
a caterpillar awakened from its cocoon before its time
expecting flight
crippled wings in actuality
a damaged butterfly with a life as a delicate petal
an adulterer standing on a scaffold
holding the identity of a branded scarlet letter
an untamed beauty
emotionally disfigured
scarred and damaged
soul twisted to a heap of grotesque brokenness
alienated by emotions bound by lack of will
no more motivation to fight
rampant images became a fiery flood
untempered by mercy or compassion
unending guilt bound by sin
led by the monsters of addiction
captivated by a dismal prison
broken and torn apart
whispered lies
as evil scurries across the heart
footsteps silent as death
insecurity strangles
as anxiety struggles to suffocate
deep desires blind reality
forming a cloak of foggy deceit
defiling what was made to be beautiful
defiling a heart made for love
a heart made for purity
meanwhile hope lingers in the corner
an illuminated light
offering a recourse of the pain
offering a bit of illumination in the utter darkness
screaming that the poisoness beast can be defeated
shouting that authority is present
dominion lurks within reach
power presents itself in the form of Majesty
declaring that there is life beyond the hurt
declaring that there is joy
declaring that there is strength found in the depth of a Savior
declaring a future full of prosperity
declaring hope for the beauty untamed
declaring healing for the damaged butterfly
declaring restoration for the exposed
declaring LIFE in the middle of chaotic brokenness

chelsea cameron
5 april 2005

To: My royalty....... Love: The Master Artist

i feel like God has been telling me a lot recently. this is probably going to be a lengthy blog... unless i split it up a bit.
some of you have probably already heard me share some of the things i am going to talk about, because i just had to tell you all. im just so in awe of God... how can we remain silent, you know? God's really been prompting me to share the following (:

When you look back into the beginning of the Bible... all the way to Genesis and the Creation story, you'll find that MAN is the only thing God did not speak into existence. He set us apart from the rest of His creation and fashioned us with His hands... then BREATHED HIS BREATH into Adam's lungs. Adam was BREATHING GOD'S AIR!! When God gave us dominion over the rest of the earth, He didn't just do it randomly. He set us apart... why else would we have been created differently? Why do we have souls? The Bible says that God gave life to His creation: including all animals. But it does not say that God breathed His BREATH into them like He did for us.

In that dominion over the earth, He has promised authority over everything.
Including: evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, mighty powers of this dark world, & evil spirits of heavenly places (Ephesians 6:12).

During the times of Jesus if you were very old man and had no heirs to your inheritance, you were supposed to adopt your slave that way when you passed away you would have a human heir. God has adopted us as slaves to sin and darkness and brought us into His perfect Family so that we might be heirs to His throne (Galatians 4:5-7). If you are an heir to a throne, that makes you royalty doesn't it? So picture this: a slave with no hope, filthy and disgusting... a really nice looking King decides that He needs You to be an heir to His throne. So He places a crown on your head and seats you on a golden throne and hands you a scepter... giving you ultimate authority over everything.

Over every thought.
Over every spirit.
Over every demon.
Over every power.
Over all evil.
Over starvation.
Over every temptation.
Over every dart of doubt.
Over every disease and sickness.
Over famine.
Over brokenness.

We are heirs to the throne of Jesus Christ and have His same authority over everything- because we have been created in the image of God. His royalty courses through our blood.

We have no excuses to not except Him. Not to believe. Not not love.
I have at times cried and questioned over why a God so perfect could love a person like me so not-perfect. Doesn't He see what i have done? What i have become? Who i am? Of course. But when He takes off the discipline costume and downs the uniform of Love, He does not see the ugly thoughts as a limit to His movement in the church. He does not see the evil and the spirits and demons and dark powers as a limitation to His Mightiness. He does not see the starvation and famine and overall hunger for the lust of the eyes & flesh, and pride of life as something that would hinder His ability to overflow our empty cups and satisfy our spiritual longing. He is not phased by the disease and sickness. He is not directed away from our brokenness. He is not going to stop pursuing us because of doubt.

When the Almighty God looks down at His creation, He sees His own image... His breath. Its almost like God looking at Himself... how could God- without flaw- not love Himself? Of course He does not love what we have partaken of the world, but He does love the parts of us left untouched and left as He originally fashioned them. And like that glorious day of Creation, God declares that "It is good" over all of us. He looks at everyone of His sons and daughters who have allowed Him to dwell in their hearts as precious and beautiful- and ultimately, He sees us as Royalty.

And He longs to be intimate with us. The Bible says that Adam knew his wife in Genesis- but the way "to know" was used was different than what one would normally expect. He used the Hebrew word YADA which means basically to know someone intimately, to become one person; unified. God wants to us to "yada" Him. To know Him as extremely intimate... not some distant Creator in the corner of our minds that only exists during Sunday morning worship and bible study.

I have been seeing God lately as the Master Artist of a huge piece of artwork of our lives. I already wrote a blog October 2008 called "The Radiant Tapestry" (http://chelsea-cameron.blogspot.com/2008/10/radiant-tapesty.html)- so i wont go into detail about really how significant every piece of thread in our lives' tapestry is, but i do want to emphasize that God remains the Master Artist. He holds the brushes and tools used to fashion our future. When we try to steal the brushes out of His hands, we begin to destroy what He originally planned for us. Which gives Him more work to do on our hearts. He only asks us that we let go of our own desires to be in control and let God be. Just like an inexperienced child grabs hold of a paint brush, with untrained use we could ruin the canvas. We only bring disaster by interference. Like i said: He only asks that we be completely yielded in His hands. He makes no idle strokes on our portraits... His every move is of vital creativity and every stroke is apart of the whole composition. Let it be. Let Him be- so that when it is finished we might say in unison with our God: "It is good."


chelsea cameron
february 15, 2009

ps. i need to credit amanda for telling me about YADA... then Real World Worship Center Pastor Williams emphasized it today in church.

is it really ours?

the thing about holding onto what is "ours", is its really not ours to hold on to. thats why we are shocked when we lose what we thought was ours...

i think if we give to God what is already His, we might not go through the same kind of shock when what is ours is removed from our lives...

giving up authority over something we thought we always had rightful ownership over will probably be the hardest thing i will ever do.

i've gotten so mad at God for taking away what was mine and what He allowed me to grow close to... but it was His to handle all along... we're the ones acting unreasonable.

my dad taught me this in a way last year when we were dealing with the loss of Carter... he wrote this february 2008 in his own blog:

"It is right for me to be protective and to make attachments in love with them but I have to remember that they are not mine. They are, have always been, and shall remain God's property. In that, He may use them as He wishes, and direct them to wherever He wishes - to include calling them home."

knowing this i have two choices:

1. I can not allow myself to become close to anyone because i know that anything could happen... and i couldnt lose them in a literal heartbeat. This is especially hard since i become very attached to the people in my life...


2. I could just go with it and be cool with people and let myself make friends and be friends with them, even know though i know i could get hurt....

alright. this blog seems be totally edging towards ending negatively. and really... thats where i half expected it to end. but with God, it doesnt work that way.

right when i got to the point of like just completely ending this entry, i got a phone call from meredith and i shared what i was writing about... before we even made it halfway through the conversation we came to the conclusion that:

life is a risk.
it is better to have loved and learned than to never have loved at all... i have grown so much to the people i have become close to in my life. and even though i might have lost a couple of them i still do not regret those relationships.

right now there will be a period of mourning but joy will follow... its not providential to keep living a lifestyle of grief for it is easy to become trapped in the oppression and completely miss joy that could have come if only we sought it. i am NOT saying that is wrong to grieve... grieve all you want with your own time. but living with grief for someone is totally different than living a complete lifestyle of grief where there is no effort to move on and to once again experience the true joy that can be found in living life to its fullest. its definitely okay to cry and to feel hurt... but its also okay to feel happy again... your allowed to laugh. your allowed to talk about things other than the tragedy surrounding us right now. its okay. you do not have to give up your own life just because someone else ended their's.

-chelsea
1/11/09

For My HCHSers... In Memory of Adam Bierbauer ♥

i lost my brother August of 2007... while it wasnt under the same circumstances- loss equals loss. death equals death. Hampton Christian, we can make it through this. Do not EVER lose hope. Jesus Christ can break the same chains holding you down that held Adam back. In the name of Jesus, we (CHILDREN OF THE ALMIGHTY GOD) have the power to cast out demons! Even the little tiny ones that whisper LIES in our ears... the same lies that killed our brother. We are EVEN more than conquerors. We have been REDEEMED from the hand of the enemy. We have been DELIVERED from the powers of darkness. We are excersizing our AUTHORIY over SATAN. We are above only and NEVER beneath. We are bringing all evil thoughts into CAPTIVITY. Hampton Christian, we are STRONG IN THE LORD AND THE POWER OF HIS MIGHT!!! we have the power through Jesus Christ to BREAK and ANNIHILATE every sort of chain holding God's kids in bondage. Lets stop talking about making a change... Lets take some ACTION.


hopefully some of these verses will encourage you.... :)

Isaiah 43:2
"When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression,
you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you."

1 Thessalonians 4:13-14
"And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died."

Matthew 5:4
"God blesses those who mourn,
for they will be comforted."


Isaiah 41:10
"Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."

Psalm 119:50
"Your promise revives me;
it comforts me in all my troubles."

Isaiah 49:13
"Sing for joy, O heavens! Rejoice, O earth! Burst into song, O mountains! For the Lord has comforted his people and will have compassion on them in their suffering."

Isaiah 61:1-3
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me,
for the Lord has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor.
He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted
and to proclaim that captives will be released
and prisoners will be freed.
2 He has sent me to tell those who mourn
that the time of the Lord’s favor has come,
and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies.
3 To all who mourn in Israel,
he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
that the Lord has planted for his own glory.

Revelation 21:4
"He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”

1 John 4:4-19 is really good too :)
Psalm 139 has also always been an amazing comfort.

two good songs:
zero by hawk nelson
smiling down by pillar

*they may not be your type of songs- but they speak the same reality we are living right now.

i love you all. even the ones i have never told you so... i hold you all so close to my heart. i love you soooo much.... so much. EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU.