Jesus, carry me.

im home with my brother carter and the others.
my mommy had a miscarriage because Jesus had a different plan for my life.


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confusion was swirling around her like a violent tornado as anger and rage spewed from her flesh. while her tears flowed relentlessly, moans from the deepest part of her stomach escaped her chapped lips. her feet were bleeding and scorched from her journey across the flaming hot coals of her life. she was tired. tired of running from darkness. it seemed to follow her... begging her to stop so it could engulf her in its grimy grasp. but she had to keep running. she had nothing else to do. she couldnt stop, but she definitely felt like she could not go on.

she glanced back and saw the darkness. it was closing in. in horror she watched as it smiled at her while it grabbed someone she loved and consumed them in its revolting mouth. leaving only the memories she had of them. or didnt have.

why would God allow so much darkness and pain to be so present in her life? how many people was she going to lose? the darkness had eaten so much... and if it had not eaten them, he had wounded them or sent them far far away.

while she was looking back, she did not notice the thorny path she had inadvertently turned to. there were thorns of bitterness and doubt, animosity and hatred. when she turned around, the sharp vile branches grabbed at her face and arms causing her to bleed.
they were digging into her flesh, tearing at her skin. but all the while she kept running. across the hot coals, through the thorns, she ran. when the rain started to pour and the lightening started to strike, she was unmoved. she ran barely noticing her life changing as her pace quickened.

bleeding and broken, numbness took over her whole body.
she felt nothing.
and no desire to move forward.
so she stopped.
and sank down to her knees.
and with barely a whisper, she coughed out what she could through her parched throat and dry lips. the end of her sentence was carried off into the wind of the storms as a hint of light peaked through the black clouds.

"Jesus, i cant run anymore. carry me...."





by chelsea cameron
august 13, 2008

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