when i am afraid

i forgot about this song...

when i am afraid by laura hackett

"When I am afraid I will trust in You
When I’m overcome I will cling onto
The Rock that is higher
He’s higher
The Rock that is higher

When my enemy’s too strong for me
I don’t know how to fight the fear
That comes against my heart and mind
I call upon the name of Christ
He’s higher, He’s higher, the Rock, He is higher

When my enemy's surrounded me
He comes to steal my joy, my peace,
I let go of my reasoning
And fall upon the Rock that is higher
He’s higher, the Rock, He is higher

I will not build my life
Upon the passing sands
Of how I feel inside from one moment to the next
But I will love You, Lord
My Rock, my God, my Strength
A precious cornerstone the floods of death could never shake

Oh, for there is no peace of mind
Outside of Truth in Christ
For the fear is real, and its power can kill
But the stability of our times
The stability of our times
Will be THE ROCK THAT IS HIGHER"


_____________________

i think this is my life right now.
so many different things have taken place inside my mind as i've let myself become overwhelmed with the future and college decisions.
no matter how many people reminded me of God's sovereignty, and provision, and perfect plan- i still stressed myself out.
i was either so overwhelmed that it was all i could think about, or i separated myself from the whole thing completely and did everything i could to not think or worry about it. both things went downhill... i began to lose sight of what it means to live in PEACE as a child of God and i numbed myself to the decision making process so much that i was heading towards not making any decisions.

so many people told me what they thought i should do and promised me that i wouldnt regret it... but nothing seemed right to me. i know that i wouldnt regret half of the decisions i thought about making- but, just because it's good doesnt mean it's GOD. at this point, since i don't know where i am going or what i am doing... im just going to settle for a community college here and get my core classes out of the way. i cant go wrong doing that.

at least, that's my plan for now.
everything keeps changing...
it's so frustrating.
it's frustrating trying to put it together now in my head.
aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
im working two jobs now too to save for school and insurance and such.
and i dont like my manager at one of them...
but i'll suck it up.
that's life... you can't get everything you want.
it'll all work out somehow.

anyways...
im at home right now.
kinda upset cause todays my only day off for a long time now that im starting my second job...
and i really wanted to hang out with my friends.
but it seems to me that graduation meant the end of them.
i feel like im losing a lot of people now... but thats life too. and i'll be getting more people in my life! (:

now i feel as if i am rambling.
which i am.
but i felt as if it were time to post again.
adios.


-chelsea.

ps. i got a laptop for graduation!! (:
pps. on wednesday JACOB ANDREW DRYDEN and i will have been dating for 6 MONTHS♥ he's incredible.